Nick Maple, the Less Awesome Captain America, Goes to England!
by MandCareAwesome
Summary: As if the other Nick Maple story wasn't terrible enough; it's time for a sequel! It's not like we actually finished the original Captain Maple, but we do what we want! USA! USA! USA! USA! We're so sorry, so very sorry for writing this monstrosity.
1. Chapter 1

Avengers © Marvel

Nick Maple, the Less Awesome Captain America, Goes to England

"Wait, what just happened? Weren't we in a battle a few minutes ago?" Captain America asked.

"No eh. That's over now eh. We're going on a new adventure now eh!" Captain Maple replied.

In case you didn't read the previous story, _Nick Maple: the Less Awesome Captain America_, this is what happened. We were introduced to our hero: Nick Maple, otherwise known as Captain Maple. Maple comes from a planet called Canadia, similar to earth's Canada, and he possesses the ability to shoot maple syrup from his hands and summon moose. In the previous story, our antagonist, Sergeant Dillon Pickle, attacked Canada and it was up to the Avengers and Captain Maple to defend the country from Dillon's Adanac army. After helping the Avengers defend Canada, Nick Maple was welcomed to the team as the newest avenger: Captain Maple. There was also stuff about Hulk Smashing, Captain America being American, Loki randomly appearing, moose braying, Iron Man being confused, and something about L and strawberries.

And that's what you missed in _Nick Maple: the Less Awesome Captain America_! Now; onto a new adventure! Eh!

"Wait, we didn't even finish the battle in Canada though. Why are we back here?" Iron Man asked.

"HULK SMASH!" Hulk yelled.

"Hammer!" Thor said.

"Is that enough of an explanation for you eh?" Nick Maple asked Tony.

"What? That wasn't even an explanation…" Tony said. "Is this really happening again? Wasn't the other story bad enough?"

"Nope eh!" Captain Maple said.

"Do I actually get to be in this story?" Hawkeye questioned, with hope that he may finally be included.

"No." Captain America said.

"Oh…okay then." Hawkeye said while walking down the hall, away from the other avengers. "No one loves me…not even me… #sadboyHawkeye."

"Did he just say a hashtag?" Natasha questioned.

"Yup eh." Nick Maple said.

Tony simply shrugged. "I've accepted it by now."

"So do we have any new missions?" Captain America asked.

"None at the moment. Looks like we have some free time." Natasha said.

"Can we go to England eh?!" Captain Maple questioned.

"Well that was direct. Aren't stories usually supposed to have some explanation for why the characters go places? Like a terrorist attack in England! Or aliens in England!" Tony said, obviously outraged. "I mean, c'mon, even the last shitty story had an explanation for why we went to Canada. Even though—"

And with that, the authors decided that they were done with Tony for this chapter. He'll be back in the next one. Maybe. Most likely. He is listed as one of the main characters in this story. But we really just did that so we'd get more readers. He's not actually that major of a character.

"The quality of this story has gone down drastically! What are we even doing with this thing?" Captain Tennessee asked. Captain Tennessee had a raccoon mask covering her face and her cape was the Tennessee state flag covered in raccoons.

"Well maybe if we spent more than five to ten minutes on a chapter, the quality would actually be better." Captain Greece suggested. Captain Greece had a T-shirt on that said 'I love Greece' and her cape was the Greek flag.

"Who the hell are you two?" Natasha asked. "And how did you get into our HQ?"

"I'm Captain Tennessee y'all!"

"And I'm Captain Greece. We're the authors. We don't actually want to be in this story though, so we'll probably leave after this chapter."

"Y'all better respect me or I'm gonna get awful flusterated y'all! And remember, don't go dropping them satellites, y'all!"

"Umm I guess that's a no for leaving. Looks like—ooh! Baklava!"

"Wait, why do we have baklava?" Captain America asked. "And why did she just

"Baklava, hummus, bouncy castles, lamb, funny accents, loud people, olives; that's her culture, y'all."

"Can we just go to England already eh?" Captain Maple asked.

"Yeah! Let's go see them fancy schmancy England people, y'all!"

"We're sorry for writing this. So very sorry." Captain Greece said.


	2. Chapter 2

The Avengers boarded their private jet a headed for England! The plane ride was long, but Captain Tennessee kept everyone entertained by discussing rednecks, farmers, trucks, and fried food.

"Well, we all got our fried food and our trucks, y'all!" Captain Tennessee said. "Most of us are racist and people think we're rude!"

"Rude eh!? No eh! That's not the Canadian way eh!" Nick Maple shouted, outraged.

"We ain't Canada. We ain't need no politeness."

"But…but politeness eh! Sorry eh, but I can't let this happen eh! We must fix this land of Tennessee eh!"

"No can do moose boy. We're already going to England. No way we're turning this plane around." Tony said.

"Well, next time then eh." Nick Maple said.

"Oh lord, there's going to be another story?" Tony asked.

"Probably not. We might not even finish this one. Who knows." Captain Greece said.

"Hey look! We're in fancy people land, y'all!" Captain Tennessee said.

"Well that was fast." Captain America said.

"HULK SMASH!" Hulk said.

"No! No smashing!" Captain America yelled. "Hey, why are you still the Hulk and not Bruce?"

"Smash?"

"Hammer!" Thor yelled.

"You're really not helping." Natasha said.

"How'd we get here so fast, y'all?" Captain Tennessee interrupted. "It's like we're witches or something!"

"Don't you mean _tweeny_ witches?" Captain Greece said.

"That plane ride was a load of gobbledygook!" Captain Tennessee yelled.

"Gobbledygook?" The Avengers all questioned.

"It's a word. Don't y'all go lookin' at me like I just dropped a satellite." Captain Tennessee defended.

"Right…anyway…we're in England eh!" Captain Maple said as he left the plane.

"The Avengers are here!" A random British person yelled.

"Captain America! Iron Man! Thor!" Fangirls allover England yelled.

"Why doesn't anyone like us…?" The rest of the Avengers questioned.

"Thank the Queen you're here!" Another random British person yelled.

"What? Why?" Captain America asked.

"Because England is being attacked by the Kingdom United!"

"You mean the United Kingdom?" Captain America asked.

"No! The Kingdom United! A union of the most infamous criminals in the galaxy! Don't you know this already? Isn't that why you're here?"

"Nah, we ain't here for that serious stuff. We just wanted to visit the land of fancy people, y'all." Captain Tennessee answered.

"Queen save us all…" The poor random British person said. He might get a name. But probably not. He's not actually relevant to the story. But we'll call him Nigel. That sounds British.


End file.
